Thursday, 31 August 2017

Happy HNB- meeting my High Need Baby, lack of sleep and our first month together


Hi. Welcome to the world of a mother of a super high need baby. The fastest, the least tired, the most alert baby ever. The crawling happiness and my best friend.

Who is a High Need Baby? It is a baby that may be considered 'difficult' by others. One who demands constant attention, who is never tired and likes to hang out on the boob for hours and hours. Baby, who doesn't need much sleep. But you know what? These kids are incredible! They don't just smile from far away, patiently waiting for cuddles. They wake up and say: Hello! I am here. Appreciate me.



MEETING MY HIGH NEED BABY

Our first meeting was quite shocking. I thought my son would be exhausted after the labour and sleep most of the time. Trust me, we were the loudest family in the postnatal room. Sometimes I cried when my son cried. Other kids were asleep, and their mums couldn't get them to wake up for feed. Mine would never sleep. He needed me non-stop. I was a patient myself, attached to a disgusting drop (which was broken and I had to keep my hand in a funny position in order to make it work). Plus, the beginning of breastfeeding was difficult. If you know how to latch the baby straight away-praise the Lord!
I had bleeding nipples and a baby on the boob for 24/7. It was difficult. During the first month, I was feeding my son for about 20h a day. With short breaks for a nappy change, bath or a quick walk in the park. It is normal. It's called the 4th trimester. But everybody around me was constantly making me feel like there was something wrong with my baby or that I simply couldn't cope with motherhood. 
The zero sleep thing was shocking. I was surprised that a baby who just arrived in crazy, unknown world is not tired!


Happy HNB is a new series on my blog! Check back for a new post every Thursday at 6 PM UK time! :) 



OUR FIRST MONTH TOGETHER


We came back home, where a beautiful and cozy Moses basket was ready to go. But Kian just wouldn't sleep in it! He would wake up every 3-15 minutes. As I could not keep my eyes open anymore, I gave up on this idea and we started co-sleeping (it is amazing, but remember to stick to the safety rules).
I wanted to be one of the cool mums, so I bought all kinds of wraps and baby sleeping bags in gorgeous prints. He hated all of them. 

How did I survive the first month?
first of all, I gave up everything to look after my son. You may say I'm crazy (I know, I know- 'happy mother is happy baby'). After I left the hospital, I stopped getting upset that I can not plan/ control the day. I acknowledged that this is how my life will look like for the next 2-3 months. And I started to learn my baby's language, rather than trying to get a newborn to understand mine. 
This was a happy moment for me. Even though to others I looked like I have fought in MMA (the mad combination of zero sleep, huge responsibility, pressure and bleeding nipples did not make me look cute at all 😀).
I concentrated as much as possible on comforting Kian with breastfeeding. Because mum's breast is much more than just food. It is baby's safety, comfort and happiness. 

Since we were glued to each other for over 20h a day, we developed not only the most beautiful love but an amazing friendship, too! We created a strong unbreakable bond, that will last forever. He knows that I will never let him down and I 'll comfort him in any pain. It is so rewarding! 

In the past year, I have heard from many people that Kian is the happiest child they have ever seen. I could not be more grateful for having him in my life.

Growing up a High Need Baby can be very difficult if you try to change his nature. You have to acknowledge that you are your child's whole world. 
Remember, that one of the worst things you can do to your baby is to follow the infamous 'cry it out method'. You can read more about the heartbreaking consequences of this torture-training here. 
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Tuesday, 8 August 2017

Money Talk. All about my wealth



Thanks for stopping by! So today I want to tell you all about my wealth and how it is possible that a 25-year-old girl owns so much stuff. If you want to know where my money came from, keep on reading :)


'The vulture and the little girl' by Kevin Carter, 1993

Seen this photo before? It is called 'The vulture and the little girl'. What can you see when you look at it? I see a vulture waiting for a little girl to die so he can eat her.

Let me tell you this story in a nutshell.
The photo was taken by a South African photojournalist called Kevin Carter. He flew to South Sudan during the second Sudanese civil war in 1993.  He joined the United Nations and was there to document a starvation caused by the war.  
Anyways. He saw a girl who was struggling to crawl to the food centre. STRUGGLING TO CRAWL TO THE FOOD CENTRE! I don't think I will ever get over those words. Seeing this photography for the first time a few years ago was the most humbling experience of my life. The most heartbreaking, unfair, traumatic and painful thing I ever saw. Kevin Carter waited for a perfect moment to take a photo, he took it, drove the vulture away and left. Did you know that he committed suicide a few months later? Many of you may ask why he did not help her. He was actually told not to touch anybody for fear of spreading disease. 

What have we done to this world? All of us here, in the first world countries? They suffer, so we can be relaxed living our 'happy' lives and keep buying stuff, thinking we buy happiness Don't even try to say that Africa is poor.  Nothing could be further from the truth. Africa has actually a huge quantity of natural sources, including gold, silver, diamonds, salt, petroleum and much more. 

Look at that girl!  Look at her sense of survival.  I can not stop wondering what her name was and how old she was. I am wondering if she knew what happiness was and if she ever laughed. She died on her way to the food centre. Or maybe a second after she got there. What was she supposed to receive in there? A sip of water? A handful of rice? A corncob? 


So, now I 'll tell you about my wealth. That's why we all are here, right?

I have two legs and two hands. I can talk, therefore communicate. I can see and hear. And I can smell. I have a roof over my head. Clean water in the tap. Toilet. I have a fridge full of fresh food. And a freezer filled to the brim, if I  run out of fresh stuff. My son has hundreds of clothes, toys and books. We spend hours reading them together. We have a car. Clean and safe. And a cat who leaves tonnes of fluffy fur behind. I have a soft carpet underneath my feet, so they are never cold.
We are healthy, and we have free medical services available just a call away. I have a bookshelf filled with books. And a big lipstick collection. I believe that they make me look prettier. But do they really? 
My son crawls around the flat and laughs a lot.  The healthy breast milk is just one smile away from him. But sometimes when I watch him crawling, I see this poor girl instead. And I wonder how many kids have died so mine can live a wealthy life in a clean and modern country.
Yes, wealthy life. You may think that I am just a working class girl. how can I talk about wealth? well, I am wealthy. And you are, too. Stop for a second and think what you are grateful for today. And repeat it. Everyday.

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