Thursday, 28 September 2017

Happy HNB- How to raise a happy child?


All of us, parents, always say: I want my child to be happy and healthy. Awesome! We wish the best things for our offspring. But how many of us actually realise that us-parents are capable of making our children happy? We say that times are tough. Well, they always were. Raising a happy child is not as difficult, as many of us think. Forget about the politics, electric bill, the price of petrol, noisy neighbour. Don't leave everything to the 'luck'. So, if you want to know how to raise a happy child, keep on reading. 


1. BOND WITH YOUR CHILD
Make a habit of talking to your child about everything. Start as early as possible (preferably when you're still pregnant). If you don't know what topic to pick, start from something as simple as describing the weather, the room you are in, your mood. In the future, there won't be a subject you will feel ashamed to discuss with your kids.
Always be there for your child. When he cries, take him to your shoulders. Listen, when he talks.
Give him your attention. Put your smartphone down for a minute and enjoy being with your kid.
Kiss and cuddle. You both need it. And, trust me, you will miss it once he grows up.
Teach your child to identify and name the feelings. This is a core of a good relationship and a happy life.
Share your hobbies with your child. This will not only bond you with him but also add a new dynamic to your relationship. 


2. MAKE HIM FEEL SAFE
Nobody can be happy when feeling anxious.
Stay calm, even though sometimes it is difficult. Try meditation, take a deep breath. In the heat of the moment think about what you are grateful for or why you love your child. This will help you to calm down immediately.
Ensure your child is growing up in a calm environment. Turn the TV off, ask other family members not to shout or make unnecessary noise (like slamming the doors or shouting).
Never threaten your child to leave him behind. I don't think any explanation is needed here.
Read about the separation anxiety. This will help you to understand your baby better.
Do not let your child cry out. Never! This infamous, old-fashioned method ruins baby's mental health. You can read more about it here.
Breastfeed, if you can. It will help you to deal with baby blues and postnatal depression, and it will make your baby feel safe. It can be difficult at the very beginning, so do your research when you're pregnant. The more you know, the easier it gets. Breastfeeding is a real lifesaver for me. It helped me on countless occasions. 
Most of the babies like being swaddled. Baby slings/ wraps will make your baby feel safe and your hands-free.And when your baby is able to sit, you can switch to a baby carrier. 


3. HAVE FUN TOGETHER
Play with your child. There are so many cool games you can play together. From the good old hide and seek, to painting, making a puppet theatre, reading together or writing stories. 
Smile to him! Nobody enjoys staring at grumpy faces. And remember that your child is your mirror. The happier you are, the happier he is.
Explore the world together. From watching the mum bird feeding her brood, to climbing mountains. If he wakes up at dawn and cannot sleep, watch your town wake up instead of watching cartoons. Do it together.                   
Practice gratitude. Ungrateful people will never be happy. Here you can read more about the power of gratitude.


4. RESPECT YOUR CHILD
He might be little, but he is a human. He has his needs, his opinions and feelings. Respect them! We all know how horrible beating children is. But we do not talk enough about all sorts of emotional abuse. Forcing kids to eat, constant criticising, bullying. These things happen in most of the households. 

5. BUILD UP HIS SELF-ESTEEM
Let him make mistakes. We all make them! Do not expect perfection, but praise his efforts. Say compliments and give him unconditional love. Support his growth. Learn to give him feedback instead of criticising. Self-discipline is a key to success. Teach him that.


6. LET HIM BE INDEPENDENT 
Does he want to brush his own hair? Help you to bake? Choose his own outfit? Let him do it. These days some adults can not prepare a simple meal from scratch. Scary!


7. DO NOT FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF
Last, but certainly not least. Do not forget about yourself. Being a mother, or being a parent in general, is forever. Your child is important, but you are too! Do your blood checks, remember to hydrate and nutrition your body.  Have your own hobbies, chase your dreams! You deserve it. 

Parenthood is a beautiful, beautiful journey. Enjoy every second of it! 



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Thursday, 21 September 2017

HAPPY HNB- The beauty of a High Need Baby


OK, last week I allowed myself to publicly speak aloud about the challenges and the difficulties I face every day as HNB's mum. Today, though, I will tell you all what I love about being a mother of an unstoppable, hyperactive and superalert one-year-old boy.

A 'PEOPLE PERSON'
My HNB is a very people-person. He loves to be in the centre of attention. He is brave, he likes to meet new people, and interact with them. He enjoys spending time with other babies. And what I am so happy about- other kids like him, too! A group of children always surrounds him in the playground and in the playgroups.

VERY EMOTIONAL
He is so sweet and kind that it literally melts my heart. He shows us his love in the most beautiful way. I die when he strokes my face in the morning. He feeds us his food with the cutest smile on his face. And he loves animals! I have mentioned his obsession with cats a thousand times. He is so gentle with our Malus. He always treats her with respect. a man who loves animals is certainly a good person!

LITTLE COMEDIAN
All babies do funny and cute things. But Kian is the one that always deliberately makes us laugh. He realizes what is funny to us, and he just keeps doing it. He is such a sweetheart!

AN INTELLIGENT KID
I am not sure if this was ever proven by scientists, but from my observation as well as from what others say, High Need Babies are very intelligent. My son is definitely the brightest one-year-old I have ever seen ( I am not trying to brag or to say he is a genius, but #mamaisproud). He is a very, very quick learner. We speak three languages at home, and he not only understands most of what we say to him, but he already uses around 25 words (knowing what they mean) and starts to connect them into 2-3 words long sentences.

Happy HNB is a new series on my blog! Check back for a new post every Thursday at 6 PM UK time! :) Thanks for reading! x
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Sunday, 17 September 2017

Happy HNB- the challenges


Being a mother is a beautiful, yet stressful experience. Being a mum of a high need baby is ten times more intense than that! Today I am here to tell you all about the struggles and the challenges I face every day as a mum of a hyperactive one-year-old. 

Please bear in mind, that I am not complaining 😃 My HNB is a happy one. One, who loves to laugh and make others laugh. He is just the sweetest kid on the planet. But, girl, try to get him to stay in one position. Impossible! 


THE BASICS 
Something as simple as nappy change can take 20 minutes, or half an hour. This is when the hyperactive side of my son's personality wakes up.
It is the same with changing his outfit. Socks? Shoes? Forget about them!  A hat is also a no-no. 

INTRODUCING SOLIDS
I am incredibly lucky because my son loves to eat. He is very excited about trying new dishes. However, he does not like to sit in his chair. As he is over one year now, he gets 5 meals per day. Guess how many times a day do I wash the carpet?

HOUSEWORK
Kian doesn't like playing on his own. He loves to have people around him all the time. Even though I absolutely treasure the time we spent together, I also need to do housework. I always try to do the most important stuff in the morning (you can read more about our morning routine here) and cook many meals at the same time. Sometimes, though, he just needs to be next to me. And this is when a baby carrier comes in handy! 

GOING FOR WALKS
And here, I have got to repeat what I have already said. The baby carrier is a lifesaver! My son can not stand sitting in a pushchair for longer than 10-15 min.  That's why I always have my Manduca on me. It allows me to go out of the house more and for longer than normal.

BABY'S BRAIN DEVELOPMENT
I am not the only one who realized that high need babies are usually much more alert and intelligent than other kids. I am always worried if I do enough to support his mental growth.


EXHAUSTION
As a mum of a hyperactive babyI have a very little time to recharge my batteries. My son moves faster than other kids, that's why I need to have eyes in the back of my head at all time. This is a constant, day and night look-out. I wouldn't say that I am physically tired because I am used to hard work and lack of sleep. But this kind of responsibility can be mentally draining.


If you're wondering if there are any pros of being a mum of an HNB- yes, absolutely! I will write about it more in my next post (be sure to check it out on Thursday 21/09 at 6 PM UK time 😃). Thanks for sticking by! x





















































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how having a high need baby changed my life
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Thursday, 7 September 2017

Happy HNB- Our Mornings



The insistent sound of alarm clock used to wake me up at 4 AM every day for way too many years.  It's been a year since a hand of tiny human touches my face to wake me up every morning. I love it. His hand is warm, and I can feel the life pulsating in his veins. The life that I have given him!  I open my eyes, and the first thing I see is the sweetest face in the whole world! These smiley black eyes, tiny plump lips, and those round cheeks that make my heart melt.

No alarm clock needed.

The 'kisses and cuddles' time is the part of the day I praise the most. They don't last too long, though. My son then says three words, to indicate that a new day has just begun. 'Bah' (this is how Persian kids call 'food'), 'tata' (which means 'daddy' in Polish. 've got to confirm that yes, daddy left for work already), and 'Malus' (name of our cat). Yes, we will see the cat. And this is when the fun and crazy part of the day starts 😄

Getting changed is probably our least favourite thing to do. Kian absolutely hates it, even though I always try to make it fun for him. But since he knows that there are better things to do out there, he doesn't want to waste even a minute on putting clothes on.  :) Luckily, he likes washing face and hands a little bit more. But, obviously, it can not take any longer than 20 seconds! 


BREAKFAST TIME, FUN TIME

My son absolutely loves food. He is not picky nor fussy at all. I am incredibly lucky that he really likes all kinds of fruits, vegetables, and groats. He will happily eat all of them- under one condition, though. They need to be served right away :) Patience is not an HNB's strength
If you're a mum of High Need Baby, you 've got to have a good plan in your head. And preferably on a paper, too. 
Not that he will stick to a routine or a plan. But you just need to stay as organised as possible. What I like to do, is to plan my day the night before so I can kick start my day without having to waste my time in the morning.I know what dishes I need to prepare for us, if I need to urgently run some errands and if I have any deep cleaning planned for a day. I like to do all of the important and boring stuff in the morning. So, when my son eats his breakfast, I usually do meal preps for the whole day, I clean the kitchen and washing up. Then it's a time to brush the teeth, feed the cat, read some books and hoover. I have got to wait with hoovering for Kian, because he absolutely loves 'helping' with it :) And this way, most of the house stuff is done by 9:30- 10:00 AM. This really helps me to stay calm for the rest of the day and enjoy spending my time with my son.


A year ago today I became a mother. Thank you, Kian for being in my life. You make me a better and happier person every day 💓💓💓
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